I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
