i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
