very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
