My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
