I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
