She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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