I can't breathe out the right side of my face
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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