Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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