I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
