If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
