Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
