No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The beers last night were like the tears from god
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
