I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
