My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
