So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
