thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
