Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
