Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
