i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
