I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
