1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
