I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
