I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
