i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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