we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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