I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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