Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
