Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
