Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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