Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Randomize
