Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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