we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
