They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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