So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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