Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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