Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
40s are totally the cure
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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