I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
