YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
