is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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