i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
