Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
