summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
