THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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