): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
