I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
