yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
