I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
