Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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