Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
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