I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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