You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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