We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
