five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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